The Account of the Gambler's Daughter
by OrangeandSpiceTeaLover
Summary: An unenthusiastic, sarcastic girl finds herself reborn as Tsunade and Jiraiya's mistake. To put it bluntly, she realizes she has one goal: to survive. Canon.


Disclaimer: I have never owned _Naruto, _and I never will.

_The Account of the Gambler's Daughter_

I had always been normal, not different but ordinary. I lived a typical life of an eighteen-year-old girl. I came from a traditional American family. I was kind of smart, a procrastinator, easily bored, and had a handful of friends. If I was all of this, then why, may I ask, did I end up being reincarnated when I died? No, I was not just reincarnated, but I was reborn into a fictional world. A hundred bucks if you can guess what universe! I found myself as a newborn in the world of _Naruto_. Yeah, the manga/anime created by Masashi Kishimoto. I think that's his name. This series was not supposed to exist. Obviously. Yet, I existed as a new tot in it. What kind of sorcery was this shit?

The horrific part is that I immediately knew where I was after being born. It did not take long because it was the flippin' Fifth Hokage that gave birth to me. Tsunade Senju ( also known as Slug Princess or The Legendary Sucker) was my mother. Oh, kami-san what had I gotten into to? I was going to become a ninja in this world. I was going to be an assassin, a murderer, a tool, a puppet, and probably become a psycho. Upon this realization, the moment I was born I screamed the shit out of my wee lungs, and it hurt like crap.

Tsunade, during her labor, decided to drink sake to ease her labor pains (which is ironic, since she is a medical ninja). Therefore, she was drunk when she named me. But, what did you expect? My mother was Tsunade. She named me, Pachinko. Pachinko is not officially a Japanese name. In fact, no names starting with 'P' exist in the Japanese language at all. At least, I don't think so. Another thing to note, I was basically named after some kind of Japanese gambling game. Heh. Alliteration. In summary, I was named after Tsunade's favorite activity in life, which is gambling. _Fantastique! _

To put it simply, my new name did not thrill me. The fact was that I was named after a Japanese gambling device. This fact did not delight me in the slightest way.

Moving on, Shizune was the midwife and a fairly decent one (she is a medical ninja). When I came out of the womb (disturbing thoughts), she was the first to hold me. It was sad actually, Tsunade passed out after giving birth to me. I guess that is understandable, since she had just delivered me while being drunk.

I think the umbilical cord was cut off of me (ooh, bad grammar there), and then I was cleaned (more bad grammar). Shizune wrapped me in warm blue, baby blankets, and placed me into a cozy, wooden basket. She pulled out a bottle filled with milk (I assume it was baby formula). The milk was warm, and I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, Tsunade's booming (but sober) voice woke me.

"No, I will not keep her!" Tsunade yelled at Shizune.

_Wait . . . I can understand her even though she's speaking in Japanese?_

"But, she's your daughter!" Shizune shot back at Tsunade.

"She's a mistake!" Tsunade replied.

_Oh great, just awesome! I was not planned. Fan-fucking-tastic. _

"Instead of sending her to an orphanage, you should give Pachinko to her father." Shizune argued back.

_TSUNADE! YOU BITCH! DON'T YOU DARE ABANDON ME!_

"Oh, hell no! Do you really think that pervert is responsible enough to take care of a child? Wait . . . I named her, Pachinko?" Tsunade replied.

_Wait! WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY? Pervert?_

That was when it dawned on me. Jiraiya the Toad Sage was probably my father.

_This is a really fucked-up new life! Tsunade must have been very drunk when she slept with Jiraiya. _

"Yes, my Lady, you named her Pachinko. You were drunk."

"That name is really funny."

_Yeah, absolutely hilarious! Thanks Tsunade, or should I say mom?_

"My lady, where do you want to take her?" Shizune asked Tsunade.

"I guess, we'll just drop her off at the front of Konoha's gates." Tsunade replied.

_Wow, she said that so nonchalant . . . Tsunade definitely was a bitch before meeting Naruto. Granted, losing both your lover and younger brother does take a toll. But still, she's a bitch right now. _

"Should we leave a note?"

"What for?"

"My lady, so they know that you are the mother, and that Lord Jiraiya is the father."

"No, we shouldn't. I don't want anyone to know about this. Just a leave a piece of paper with her name on it. Therefore, they at least will know her name."

"But my Lady, what is her full name?"

"I guess . . . Pachinko Senju."

And thus, there I was in a warm basket, in front of Konoha's gates.

My new life was going to be one hell of a ride.

**Author's note: Recently on fanfiction, there have been so many self-inerts and OC stories. And I guess that I really like those types of stories, but I can't deal with Mary Sues or Gary Stus, no matter how good a writer the author may be. I liked the idea of OCs and SIs so much that I decided to test the waters and see if I could write one. I want to write a story where the main female protagonist is not a damsel in distress, but also not the strongest ninja ever (that position will always be held by Naruto). I want Pachinko to grow, either with or without her parents help. Also, I hate how some of the girl characters in **_**Naruto **_**are so useless sometimes (like Sakura). Heck, Tsunade is the weakest hokage but why does it have to be her? Because she's female? I want Pachinko to be on the same level (eventually as she grows) as other strong shinobi. **

**Please review my story and let me know what you think! I just want opinions on where people think this can go. Please don't flame though . . . I'm a very sensitive person. **


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